There is a space between man's imagination and man's attainment that may only be traversed by his longing.
― Khalil Gibran, Sand and Foam
How best to describe a man who is trying so hard to stay away from the woman that he desperately loves and can’t do without? Infuriating? Sweet? Insensitive? Devastated? Needy? Serkan Bolat is all these things and more in Episode 18. He is longing to be next to Eda and can’t stand it at the same time. Eda is confused and angry and does not understand what is going on with him, she is nearing the end of her rope.
The episode itself was a bit of a rollercoaster but at least they didn’t drag out the house collapse story for very long. As unhappy as we may be as a fandom about the Eda/Serkan story dragging a bit, the writers moved quickly to a resolution of that part of the story.
This is the hardest part to watch for me, where the lovers are over the acute hurt of breaking up and now are in limbo with one another. Eda sees that Serkan still loves her and she can’t figure out where their relationship went wrong and he won’t tell her what’s happening. She is understandably furious with him, for a variety of reasons.
What I loved
Eda figures out it wasn’t a mistake on Serkan’s part that caused the collapse of the roof at their project. She refuses to believe he could have made that kind of mistake and compares the blueprints on his computer to the ones sent to the job site. Everyone else, including Serkan, assumes that they will match but she quickly finds the mistake and show him that he isn’t at fault. She has single-handedly saved his and the company’s reputation and also a costly lawsuit. Miracle number one for Eda this episode. Also, we are treated to the fact that Serkan’s computer password is the co-ordinates to the star he bought Eda. I swooned a little.
Serkan is moving into his own place, a house that Art Life owns. How many random houses in Istanbul are vacant just waiting for Serkan Bolat to come move in? I think it’s good for him to be away from his parents’ influence, even though Aydan seems to be fulling embracing her love for Eda these days. Seyfi is packing up all his belongs and includes a box with all of Eda’s stuff in it. All the things that were thrown in a garbage bin a couple of episodes back, including the magnetic globe she bought him for his birthday. So my question is, who took all that stuff out of the garbage? Serkan saw her dump everything, so it has to be him, right? Or did he make poor Seyfi do it?
Serkan and Eda have several intense conversations this week, at Art Life, at the library and at the end of the episode. He heard her say she would be attending classes and working at school and he finds her at the university’s library that he built. He tells her that he is there for a book as all of his are still packed up in the move. This is the first she hears of him moving. He tells her that he chose the library to talk to her because they have to be quiet. Not such a dummy our robot. He says that the last few days have been very hard and he wouldn’t have gotten through it if it weren’t for her. He wants to talk to her but she reminds him that he had just told her yesterday (or possibly earlier that day— dizi time is really off for this episode) that he didn’t want to see her and now he was following her around. He reiterates that he just wants to talk and not fight but she isn’t interested and yells at him to go away. He keeps telling her to be quiet, Eda of course doesn’t care to be quiet and they end up getting kicked out of the library, which Eda finds hilarious as it seems that Serkan tried to tell the librarian who he was but she had never heard of Serkan Bolat.
It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are still alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger for them.
― George Eliot
It's raining and Serkan and Eda go for a walk in a park setting that looks like it belongs in an Impressionist painting. They stroll along, him with his practical dark grey umbrella and her with her rainbow one. He tells her it’s a real autumn evening, the leaves have all fallen and it’s like the end of everything. She tells him that the opposite is true, the tree still stands tall and will bloom again even stronger. She tells him this is a miracle and not an ending but a beginning. A beautiful metaphor to how Eda sees life and a hopeful vision for the future of their relationship, that because their love is strong they will survive what’s coming and be stronger because of it. He tells her that maybe everything is not what it seems. He asks if she is cold and when she says yes he take off his scarf and places it around her neck. He also gives her a present, a proper architects pencil for her first day back to school. She thanks him and he tells her it’s the least he could do after he ruined school for her and she wouldn't let him re-establish her scholarship.
They end up at his house and she notices that all his books have been unpacked and calls him out. She picks up Madonna in a Fur Coat off the shelf and opens it up to find a picture of the two of them but replaces it before Serkan sees and she doesn’t ask him about it. They work and she tells him that she’s learned a lot from him and he tells her that she is the most creative person he has ever met.
At the end of the episode, Eda is out for dinner with Efe and Serkan and Selin are at the same restaurant. Eda has her phone on so Serkan can hear the conversation she's having with Efe. He is effusively complimenting her, on her work and her beauty and Serkan's eyes are about to roll right out of his head. Efe asks her who she thinks Serkan suspects and she half-jokingly says 'you' and they laugh. They commiserate on how difficult it is to work with Serkan and Efe asks her why they broke up and she tells him it's because Serkan only cares about work and she's distracting him from that. Efe laughs incredulously but Eda is serious and we can see that it still hurts her. She has to eventually turn her phone off so Efe doesn't get suspicious and Serkan freaks out. Kerem killed it in these scenes, he really does have the best facial expressions.
Serkan pretends to show up after dinner to pick up Eda. Aren't you supposed to be broken up, why are you picking her up? Efe leaves after confessing and Eda questions Serkan about the fact that he and Selin are living together. Serkan plays it off and says she shouldn't be upset. She tells him, you can be jealous but I can't be upset with you living with your ex-girlfriend? He then asks her 'am I jealous'? Oh Serkan, even Sirius knows you're jealous of any man who looks her way. She tells him fine, you're going to live your life with your ex in your house, I'm going to live my life and you're going to see a whole new Eda. He asks what that means and that's the end of the episode.
Also did Leyla photocopy her boobs? If so, that's awesome.
What I liked
Aydan left the Bolat property with the aid of some very strong calming tea. I’m sure any psychologists watching were yelling at their televisions that that isn’t the way this works but it’s fiction and we are going to ignore the obvious negatives of over-drugging someone to help get them over their phobias. The main thing is that she left, in a great white mustang car, no less. She, Eda and Seyfi go for a little ride and she gets to see how much the city has changed, but ultimately what she wants to see most is her son. They drive over to Serkan’s new house and surprise him, Eda’s miracle number two.
Ayfer comes to both confront Serkan and to thank him for the new client. She sees the ring still on his finger and I think she recognizes that he still has feelings for Eda. She doesn’t want him around however and asks him not to hurt Eda anymore than he already has. She is at least civil to him.
Melo is back! Which I’m very happy for but she was a little too much on Selin’s side this week. I get that she has a big heart and wants to help her, but she knows a lot of what Selin has done and really doesn’t have any right to yell at Ferit or tell Ceren that she shouldn’t be dating him.
What I disliked
I’m subtitling this section ‘All the boys are stupid’ this week.
We know we are in trouble when ERDEM is the least obnoxious man in the episode. Where to start with this.
Engin and Piril have decided to move in together and that scene by the side of the road was very sweet, I was hopeful for a bit. But it turns out that Engin is a repulsive slob and Piril is shocked at the state of his house. However, she’s still game and decides to clean up the place and when he comes home she suggests they do some yoga to relax. He however whines that there is a football match on and what has she done with his tv? This is the very first night they are going to spend together after moving in and she obviously has made plans for them but he only wants to watch football? Dude, hit record on the PVR and spend some time with your girlfriend. Ugh. I think I am going to just have to reconcile myself to the idea that the writers have only meant this pairing to be for comedy purposes and forget the idea that we will actually ever see some real romance between these two characters.
Ferit is still a little hung up on Selin and it causes him to not pay attention to what he talks to Ceren about. I genuinely think he likes Ceren but it’s only been a couple of weeks (I think— again, dizi time is confusing) since he left Selin at the wedding table and he’s maybe not 100% over her yet. I’m 100% over Selin, but more on that later. Ferit talks a little too much about Selin to Ceren and she gets fed up and leaves their coffee date. He at least recognizes right away that he’s made a mistake and goes the next day to the flower shop where she is and gets her a beautiful bouquet. Honestly, I really like the Ferit character, I would have never predicted that back in episode one, but he is a good, honest man, even Serkan thinks that.
Efe spends the episode runs around and ‘fixing’ the house collapse mess but he quickly realizes that, after Eda discovered that Serkan wasn’t at fault for the blueprints, Serkan is going to suspect him. He finally comes clean after Serkan bluffs him into thinking that the printer’s memory will tell them who was printing plans besides Leyla.
He gives a pretty lame excuse of it being the printer’s fault but if he knew that, why not tell Serkan right away? He tells Eda and Serkan, doesn’t seem very contrite, and Serkan doesn’t believe him for a minute. I’m confused as to what Efe’s endgame was here?
Did he just want there to be a small mistake, which Efe would fix and then Serkan would be beholden to him, but it turned into a big collapse and he couldn’t fix it? Regardless, he did this to a friends’ house where his friend and family were living, not cool.
Alptekin, oy vey. I mean I guess he tried. He went to the company to talk to Serkan but backed away quickly when Serkan wasn’t very receptive. He then spent the rest of the episode working out. Good for you, let’s focus on you while your son’s life has fallen apart.
I reserve my strongest dislike for Selin in this episode.
Let’s do a quick review of Selin. She has to have known Serkan her whole life and was in a relationship with him for a number of years until she decided that he was never going to be able to give her what she needs so she breaks up with him. Good for her for knowing what she wants and going after it. Ha. She gets engaged very quickly to Ferit after said break up and this is where we meet her. We realize that she isn’t over Serkan, she still loves him, she doesn’t love Ferit and ultimately she decides that if he will take her back she will go back to Serkan. Serkan doesn’t want her back, Ferit decides he doesn’t want her either and after selling off the majority of the shares in her family’s company she has her PR job and a 5% stake in the holding left to show for all of her machinations. I want to feel sorry for her, I really do, but she is at least 75% responsible for all her own misery and yet she still manages to act like a spoiled princess.
She figures out that Eda suspects her to be the one who changed the blueprints and storms off to confront her, telling her how dare she suspect her, she owns part of the company and Eda is merely an employee. Eda is polite at first, but points out that it’s not like Selin hasn’t done shady things in the past. Selin is furious and Serkan steps in to tell Eda, in front of Selin and Ferit, to drop it and not investigate Selin anymore. Eda is hurt and embarrassed by being taken to task by Serkan and Selin smugly walks off.
Sigh, Serkan. I do love that they keep his original character traits and it is completely in character for him to yell at Eda as he did. This is old Serkan rearing his ugly head. However, there is growth in our robot and he knows that Eda is going to be mad so he goes to talk to her. She is furious about being embarrassed like that and doesn’t want to talk to him. He tells her she was wrong to suspect Selin but Eda doesn’t care about that. Instead, she wants to know why, after everything she did, he is still close with Selin but pushes Eda away. He tells her that he never loved Selin, so I’m guessing then that it doesn’t bother him to see her, but he appreciated Eda more than anyone else and so it is hard to see her. She scoffs and asks if he appreciates her why is he so cruel to her, why did he break up with her for work, what did she do to deserve this treatment? It’s so heartbreaking because he won’t tell her the real reason and so she’s left will all these feelings and confusion.
…There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible—magic to make the sanest man go mad.
― Homer, The Iliad
He also allows Selin to stay in the house with him like that’s no big deal. He thinks because he never loved Selin, and he thankfully finally tells Eda this, that it’s not a problem for Eda that Selin lives with him. Although he is at least aware enough to recognize that Eda isn’t okay with it.
What needs to happen next
- All the usual things I say every week, grandmother, Serkan brother, Eda’s parents, Efe’s plan, all these things need to come out
- Selin needs to move to a hotel or does she not have parents or friends she can stay with? She should not be at Serkan’s
- Selin also needs to check her attitude, she’s becoming incredibly tiresome
- Alptekin needs to work a lot harder to help his son
So, all in all a good episode and one that was incredibly beautifully shot. Eda and Serkan are so close to the breaking point, and if the most recent fragman is to be believed, the big secret is soon to be revealed. How this will affect their relationship? Is Eda's heart big enough to forgive, not only Serkan but the rest of the Bolats? Will she need to take some time away to process everything? Will Serkan be able to let her go if she does? Will Eda's grandmother come and create more problems? So many good things to come.
A note about the writing and the writers of Sen Çal Kapimi:
If any of you have read my previous reviews you will know that I am a big fan of Ayse Üner Kutlu and her writing team. She has brought a beautiful, poetic, and heartfelt story to the small screen and we have been blessed with a show that has survived the summer season and the brutal schedule that Fox Turkey had set up for itself going into the fall.
Dizi writing has to be some of the most arduous and perilous I have even seen. Imagine yourself: you’re asked to write a story or an essay, but they don’t tell you how long it’s going to have to be. They tell you just keep writing until we tell you to stop, but oh yeah, please give us 10000 word updates every week. The 18 episodes we have had so far equate to 54 episodes if this was an American show.
Ayse and her team have this story mapped out, and we are going to get the beautiful resolution that we want, I have absolutely no doubt about this. But the writers don’t know when that resolution will happen or how many episodes they are going to have to tell it. So, they are stretching out the story, they are giving us some plot that we thought we had put to bed (Selin and Serkan) they are giving us some plot that we have seen in other dizi, and they are giving us some secondary character story to keep the plot moving. This is the result of the uncertainty around how many more episodes they are going to ultimately have. I have faith that our story will come to a happy and fulfilling ending and we will be pleased we put up with the parts of the story we were less interested in.
So, hang in, keep the faith, skip the parts you don’t like, stop watching if you’re done, but give some thought to the writers who are trying to give you the best story they can when there is so much that is out of their control.
Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star.
It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn't even exist anymore. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun