Doğduǧun Ev Kaderindir: Bolum 7 - Poignant, Precious, Powerful Trust
“Some lies are necessary,” he told me. With surprise, my eyes snapped up to his, and I slowly repeated his words back to him, “Some lie… are necessary.” With an earnest nod and a bright, clear gaze, he bobbed his head and mentally prepared himself for the question that he knew was coming… “Which ones?” I asked. His thoughts stumbled. That wasn’t the question he was expecting. I could see it written clearly on his face. Good, I thought to myself. If he had been able to answer my question quickly, it would have proven that he doesn’t know the true cost of trust. And it does cost, doesn’t it, beloved reader? It costs a lot. Even when the lie is “necessary.”
Of course, lies and truth are not the only subjects when it comes to trust. Expectation and hope are also a part of it. There is an unspoken understanding in trust. Relationships are founded upon it, kingdoms are built upon it, and entire belief systems use trust as the foundation upon which their mythos stands. And once broken, it is almost impossible to repair. Zeynep and Mehdi have come a long way in their willingness to trust one another. During Episode 7, the trust they place in each other is strengthened even more. Perhaps you, like me, find yourself wondering if this newly founded trust will be able to withstand the storms that are coming. I don’t know about you, but I am excited to find out.
Poignant Trust
“We're paying the highest tribute you can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It's that simple.”
Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
The lie that Zeynep told Mehdi at the hospital was eating away at her conscience. She had promised her husband that she would be worthy of his faith in her, yet she was testing that faith by lying about the reason she had been at the hospital. It took courage to tell the truth. She knew what she was risking. But she also knew that continuing to lie would further fracture the trust which Mehdi placed in her. Of course, she did not realize that he, too, was hiding his own lie. Maybe that's why he reacted the way he did when she confessed. Maybe he realized he was in no position to judge when he, himself had kept the truth from her. It is to Mehdi’s credit that he did not jump to conclusions, and allow anger to render him deaf to her explanation. Of course, even in explaining, Zeynep did not reveal the true reason for her visit to the hospital. In her mind, that secret was not hers to tell. Withholding the truth does not mean that she did not trust Mehdi; it simply means that she respects the delicacy of Benal’s secret. After assuring Mehdi that she was not keeping a secret from him about herself or their family, Mehdi allowed himself to relax. That's all he needed to know. He did not need to know anyone else is secret as long as it did not affect his wife, nor their family. Of course, Zeynep placing an assuring hand on his probably didn’t hurt, either. ? Isn't it remarkable, reader? It hardly seems possible that a mere three episodes ago, every word that came out of Zeynep’s mouth was questioned and doubted. How far they've come!
It is only after Zeynep confesses the truth to Mehdi, that he reveals his own lie. He, too, was not at the hospital for the reason Nuh initially stated. And just as his bride had a reason for keeping her secret, Mehdi insists that he has a good reason for keeping his. Zeynep doesn’t hesitate to accept his admission. I don't know if her readiness to accept his confession has anything to do with the relief she feels by his understanding, or if she already trusts him so completely that his falsehood does not matter. Perhaps it is a little of both. Either way, it is encouraging to know that they both want to be worthy of the others’ trust. After all, other than love, trust is the most important aspect of a marriage relationship. If Mehdi and Zeynep are going to overcome the trials which they are about to face, they will need to be able to hold on to their trust.
Precious Trust
“She didn't need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms and sleep as a child sleeps, knowing that someone stronger than you is protecting you from all evil and all danger”
Paulo Coelho, Brida
When was the last time you felt overwhelmed? Not stressed. Not exhausted. Not fearful. When was the last time you felt as though you were being buried under the weight of your own existence? Or submerged under a tidal wave of emotion, in which you were certain you would drown? That is where Zeynep is during this moment. She is utterly overwhelmed. Trying to carry the proverbial weight of the world on her shoulders has become too much for her. She can’t do it. She can’t even stand. She clumsily climbs onto her bed, and tries to hold a single thought in her head. One single thought. But she can’t do that, either. All of her thoughts are rushing through her mind like automobiles on an express highway. She can’t fully grasp one thought before it is chased away by another. Her mother; her father; school; Kibrit; their home; Her old life; her new life; Benal; the future; the past… so many thoughts, yet not one of them complete.
But then… Mehdi opens the door and walks into their room. Zeynep tries to hide how shaken she is, but fails. Miserably. She trusts Mehdi with so many things. He's proved himself in so many ways. Yet, trusting him with her brokenness is a terrifying thought. She's never trusted anyone with that part of herself before. What if he rejected the depth of her feelings? What if he didn't understand? What if he made light of this torrent of emotion building up inside of her? Zeynep tries to hide. It would be safer for her to never know if she can trust him with this than to trust him and be disappointed. But Mehdi, aware of only his wife’s distress, does not allow her to hide. Instead, he gently coaxes her trust. His words are not empty promises. He means them. Earnestly. When he promises that she doesn’t have to face life alone, he means it. When he tells her that he is by her side… When he vows that they will overcome everything together… Mehdi means every single word. And Zeynep knows it. She can feel the truth in his promise. And she can feel the truth in his arms as he holds her. A new level of trust is established between them as Mehdi holds Zeynep as she sleeps. It isn’t a trust that is built on spoken words, but rather, is built on unspoken understanding. It is a precious trust, and it will be an important part of their relationship as the events around them continue to unfold.
Powerful Trust
Selfless love is always costly; fear can't afford it, pride doesn't understand it and friends never forget it.
Bob Goff
Mehdi is determined for Zeynep to pursue her dreams of becoming a lawyer, and not only becoming a lawyer, but graduating at the top of her class. It is important to her, therefore it is important to him. The fact that he is determined to speak with the chair of her department proves how important her dreams are to him. He did not have to explain why Zeynep had missed two exams to her professor, and yet he did. Zeynep isn’t even aware that he has done it, but Mehdi is proving, once again that he is worthy of her trust. He is proving that her desires matter, and he is going to do whatever it takes to make sure her dreams come true.
Of course, Zeynep’s friend (I use that term loosely) does not understand the magnitude of what Mehdi is doing when she eavesdrops on his discussion. All she can see is a man who lives and works in a slum neighborhood. So, when she confronts Zeynep about her surprise marriage to Mehdi, she conveniently leaves out the fact that he was trying to persuade the Department Chair to allow Zeynep to make up her exams. Instead, she focuses on the deficiencies that must be present in Mehdi’s character since he does not live in the affluence to which she is accustomed. Zeynep’s response to her friend is exactly what it should be. In short, dear reader, Zeynep calls out her friend for self-righteous prejudice, and unfounded pride. She tells her snobbish classmate that Mehdi is the best man she has ever known, with the purest intentions, and best heart. But she doesn't stop there. She then chastises her classmate for judging Mehdi without knowing him. It is a glorious moment. It is a moment where Zeynep proves that she can be trusted with Mehdi’s integrity. And do you know what makes this moment even better? Mehdi heard the entire conversation. He heard his wife not only defend him, but praise him. A few moments later, Zeynep will learn that Mehdi’s spoke with her professor, and convinced him to allow Zeynep to make up her exams. When Zeynep turns to look at Mehdi after learning this, you can see the new light of trust between them. She trusts him with her dreams. He trusts her with his character. In many ways, it is going to be this trust that determines the strength of their relationship from this point forward. It is this trust that kept Mehdi in control of his temper as Furak belittled him, and it is this trust that encouraged Mehdi to take his brides hand and lead her up the escalator. Mehdi’s comments from the night before are proving true. They are neither of them alone because they have each other. They will stand by each other's' side, and they will face and overcome every obstacle the world had to offer, together.
