Never mind your intentions. Communication is about what others hear with your words. -Dianna Booher
Another stellar episode from the Sen Çal Kapimi team. I come to appreciate and love this show more and more every week. I know many will be frustrated with Serkan this week and his seeming inability to recognize his mistakes and make amends with Eda, but he does try in his emotionally stunted way. Serkan does not like to apologize, Engin says as much, but he does try to make it up to Eda.
Let’s dig into that a bit; he goes looking for her and suffers the disdain of her friends and aunt to do so, he searches several gardens before he finds her, I doubt he would have put as much effort if it was anyone else. He is even a bit shocked when Eda doesn’t appreciate that he’s done this, ‘but I came for you’, Eda doesn’t know that this is special treatment. I’m betting that he hasn’t ever done this before for someone else. He wants to ruin Kaan, yes for himself which is what Eda focuses on, but also because both Eda and Melo were hurt. He is trying to get retribution for them. He wants to take the eco-hotel project back and have Eda work on the designs and landscape, yes to get back at Kaan, but also to give Eda the chance to live her dream of being a landscape architect, he is trying to fulfill her dreams. Serkan’s way of apologizing is to make her life better. He knows that she is mad at him, what he doesn’t understand is that she is also really hurt. He doesn’t know the depth of her feelings for him and so doesn’t recognize the impact of having the person you love not trust you.
Communicate unto the other person that which you would want him to communicate unto you if your positions were reversed. -Aaron Goldman
Eda just wants a simple apology, she wants the words of contrition. She doesn’t recognize that all that Serkan is doing, searching for her, kidnapping her, trying to ruin Kaan for her, giving her the opportunity to work on the eco-hotel, is his way of saying that he’s regretful. Serkan doesn’t know that she loves him, in fact, he has stated a few times over the last few episodes that he thinks that she doesn’t really like him. She has continued to tell him that she hates him (notice that he hasn’t said it back for a number of episodes) and has tried her best for the last two episodes to get away from spending any alone time with him. We know this is because she is protecting her heart and is very upset with him, but her words and actions have impacted on him to where he thinks he is the only one with feelings in their relationship.
It was interesting how almost jovial he was this episode, I truly think he is tremendously happy that she hasn’t betrayed him. He teases her and jokes with her and even tries to manipulate her into taking care of him after she pepper sprays him in the face. This annoys her somewhat but she does respond with a few smiles.
The audience is looking forward to some romantic movement in their relationship but I am loving the slow-moving forward of things. There is nothing worse for me than a tv show or a book suddenly having the protagonists expressing their love for one another and one is left thinking ‘where did this come from all of a sudden’ or ‘this is so out of character’. Serkan is acting according to his character, he doesn’t like to apologize, or if he has to, he wants Eda to apologize too, so that it’s equal. Of course, it doesn’t work like that, she’s is the bigger hurt and he made the bigger mistake, but for Serkan, even in his life things are always a negotiation.
Eda needs to recognize and understand Serkan’s way of communicating his feelings to her. He is trying to give her everything that she wants out of life. Unfortunately, she believes he loves someone else so doesn’t see this behaviour for a declaration of love. It also has prevented her from being able to express her feelings to him, she won’t because she thinks he loves Selin. So, in order for things to move forward, Serkan needs to tell her he doesn’t want to get back together with Selin.
What I loved
For once I’m not going to start with Eda and Serkan but with all the female relationships and interactions this episode. As much as I have enjoyed other dizi like Erkenci Kus and Kiralik Ask, I am not missing at all the interfering parental figures that were so present in those shows. Ayfer, Eda’s aunt, while her biggest supporter and defender, allows her to make her own decisions and trusts her to do the right thing, Serkan’s mother is disapproving of Eda but isn’t actively working against her or demanding that Serkan stay away from her, Serkan wouldn’t allow her to rule over him anyway. I appreciate that these twenty and thirty-something people are allowed to make their own choices.
The Kizlar fish and the boys play billiards
Eda’s girl-gang have continued to be a joy. These young women love and support each other as best friends and sisters. They talk about and share everything, there is no hierarchy in the group they are all valued even though they are all different. Them going fishing for the ‘girl’s night out’ was so awesome. I love that the show is knocking down some pre-conceived gendered activities, I also loved that Fifi, the most hard-assed of them and the woman who chloroformed a guy last episode, is squeamish about taking a fish off the hook. Each of the characters is allowed to be unique and have contradictions. They talk about love and each gives their take on on it, Ceren says that she shouldn’t be giving advice to Engin, Fifi says that she just wants to be obeyed, Melo says that she believes in true love and Eda says that ‘he will tell you not to go’.
Serkan, Engin, Ferit and Alptekin are at the office playing pool, they also end up discussing love, Alptekin tells them that they should be like a lamb at home, Ferit says that that suits him, Engin thinks you should be friends first and Serkan says that they can’t be lambs and Engin tells him the best he should try for is to show some feeling, Serkan says he’s looking for someone who won’t tell him she’s leaving.
Each group concludes that they don’t understand each other and will just have to live their lives.
Pyril and Ceren
I really like the interaction between Pyril and Ceren at Engin’s apartment. I am still on the fence about my feelings for Pyril, but the two of them sitting down to have dinner together was an unexpected outcome for that scene and one I really thought was great. Again, too many times in television we see women pitted against each other and here we see two women who could be construed as rivals sitting down and talking like normal people would. Kudos to the writers for that.
Melo and Serkan
These two characters are so fun to watch together. Serkan is so cocky, ‘I know you still love me’ and he’s right, Melo loves him and Eda and wants them to be happy so she spills the information as to where Eda is to Serkan. In turn, he really likes her too and is genuinely sorry that she got caught up in Kaan’s game with him.
Eda and Serkan
So, Eda’s Saturdays are spending tending a garden at an orphanage? She really is an angel. After checking two other gardens Serkan finds her and she won’t talk to him or let him drive her home so he handcuffs them together. How sweet was it that Sirius is missing Eda so has pulled out a bunch of her stuff? And Sayfi putting the cuffs in the bag, he’s awesome. It seems like everyone is firmly on team Eda except Aydan in the Bolat household.
He takes her to the family mountain house, another dizi staple, so they can talk and she can’t escape. Serkan really is a little shit in these scenes, she is very angry at being kidnapped, rightly so, but he doesn’t seem to be anything more than amused even after she starts breaking things. He’s determined that they are going to talk, she eventually relents and they have lunch, Serkan chops wood, because of course he does, and they sit at the fire at night. She seems to think that he’s finally going to apologize, but now he wants to talk about Kaan. She’s furious as he tells her that he knows that she’s mad at him but she is also to blame, she should have been more careful with the chandelier paperwork, she asks him ‘instead of apologizing you’re blaming me?’ He tries to get her to listen to him but she’s had enough and states that she is leaving. He tells her that he will take her home but she says that she will go by herself, she doesn’t want to spend one more minute with him. It’s pouring rain outside and he follows her out calling her name and she screams at him, she tries to push him away and he grabs her and pulls her to him. They have yet another hot, intense nose-to-nose staring moment, I’ve lost count about how many this makes now. He tells her he didn’t know how disgusting she found him and that she should stay and he will go and he gets in his car and leaves.
Serkan comes back sometime later and Eda mistakenly pepper sprays him thinking that he is an intruder. I did laugh a bit at this and Serkan milking her remorse for spraying him by getting her to wipe his eyes for him. Oh, Serkan. They have to stay at the house because the road is washed out and they decide to call it a night. Unfortunately, the roof is leaking and there is only one bed in the place that is dry, uh huh, yep, only one bed. They are going to share and bicker a bit while they get settled as Eda wants Serkan to lay on his left side so he’s facing away from her but he insists that he always sleeps on his right side because it’s better for his heart. Through the night they move closer together, at one point it looks like Serkan is going to throw an arm over her waist but ends up only holding her forearm in his hand. They each wake up nose-to-nose in the morning for a moment and gaze at the other, but then go back to sleep and don’t wake up until Fifi calls. Why do all their calls have to be video calls? Anyway Eda is definitely not a morning person and as she talks to Fifi the phone starts to slide and Fifi and Ayfer can both see that Serkan is in bed next to Eda. Ayfer grabs the phone away from Fifi as Eda insists that Serkan take her phone as she wants to go back to sleep, Serkan awkwardly talks to Ayfer and she asks him if they are on their way to the registrar, meaning are they on their way to get married. He hangs up on her! Eda agrees to help him with the Kaan situation and gives him 24 hours of her time.
After the emotional conversation with his mother, Serkan calls Eda and asks if he can pick her up in the morning. She says yes, let the last day live by the rules, this is the end so they might as well do it properly. Serkan doesn’t say anything after this but looks gutted and as he picks up the mood-evaluating mug that Eda gave him it turns from all black (upset) to part red (in love) and black.
They travel to the job site, Serkan is convinced that because of a lack of capital Kaan will not build the eco-hotel with eco-friendly materials because they are more expensive. He and Eda investigate and he turns out to be right, there is proof on the property that Kaan is using materials he shouldn’t in the construction. They win back the project from Fikret Bey, who we remember from previous episodes. Serkan takes Eda home and she congratulates him on his new project and he says it’s their new project but she says no, she won’t work on it with him. Serkan is very insistent that they will work on the project together but she tells him she isn’t looking for a job she wants an apology and she wants him to understand just how much he has hurt her.
The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.
George Bernard Shaw
Truth be told I was expecting Serkan to be a lot more effusive in expressing his contrition and regret this episode, but on reflection, I realize that he is doing it in his own prideful, constipated way. The hashtag for the episode was ‘pride in love’ after all. Unfortunately, Eda doesn’t realize that the intentions behind his actions are because he is sorry that he hurt her and is trying to make it up to her. He’s just going about it in an unclear way. Once she tells him how much she is hurt and how much it hurts her that he doesn’t seem to care about that enough to apologize, he does make the effort. Thank goodness Engin gives him some good advice to not put it in an email, but Serkan doesn’t take his advice to face her. He goes to their flower shop to have Ayfer send her some flowers, but she doesn’t let him off that easy, insisting that he needs to put it together himself. She tells him however that she is there to help him, Ayfer with no reason to do so is supporting Serkan. Eda is very receptive to the apology and I think that the note that he wrote more than anything swayed her into coming back into the office and resuming the contract.
Flower Symbolism
We know that writer Ayse Üner Kutlu loves to inject hidden meaning into objects and places and this particular story is focused so much on flowers that I had to look up what I could find on all the flowers and plants Serkan puts in the terrarium for Eda and this is what I came up with.
Kalanchoe (the star-shaped white flowers) -symbolizes endurance and lasting affection. It can also symbolize wealth and prosperity.
Lily-of-the-Valley (bell-shaped white flowers) - a lot of different symbolic meanings for this plant but the one that caught my eye was that it’s considered the flower of the fairies, it’s tiny bells used as cups from which to drink
Moon Cactus - is actually two cacti grafted together, one that is a bright colour but produces no chlorophyll and therefore no nutrients are grafted on to a green cactus that can. Symbolizes endurance and strength.
Strawflowers - symbolize agreement
Succulents - symbolize enduring and timeless love
Ayse strikes again to give the audience another layer and level of to the story if one chooses to explore it. I live for this.
Serkan and Aydan
Sayfi shows Serkan the video of Eda leading his mother brief out of the gates of their property, he gets quite emotional about this and goes to talk to Aydan. He asks her if she’s tried again and she tells him yes, but she wasn’t successful. He asks if she wants to try with him and they head over to the gate, she isn’t able to do it this time. She says she could do it will ‘the flower girl’ that Eda gives her a sense of peace but also annoys her, Serkan says he knows exactly what she means. He mentions that his brother would be proud of her and she visibly recoils and tries to change the subject but he tells her that they should talk about him and no longer pretend he didn’t exist. He tells her that he will always be there for her and maybe she should try therapy again. She says okay, he tells her that things are changing around them whether they want them to or not.
What I liked
It may be mean of me to say but I liked Ferit giving Selin the cold shoulder this week. She has been dismissive of him and lied to him about where she was when she went to Serkan’s house. He is justifiably angry with her. I also enjoyed her sour face upon hearing that Serkan had taken Eda away to the mountain house and that they were likely going to get back together.
Erdem was much less annoying this week but still don’t love his character
I’m not sure what’s going to happen and I really don’t look forward to a love triangle but I did enjoy Ceren showing Engin how to flirt and touching him, poor man was freaked out and flustered.
What I didn’t like
Engin’s complete lack of game with women, it just doesn’t ring true that at 30 whatever years of age he would still be this bad. Also unbelievable that after 10 years of knowing each other, and having an obvious attraction to one another, he and Pyril have never even thought of getting together, did they never even share a drunken kiss or anything? This just seems so unlikely.
That Serkan can’t realize on his own how much he has hurt Eda, she has to tell him multiple times before she can get an apology out of him. Do better Serkan.
Aydan is still nasty about Eda and is condescending to Ayfer once again. We have seen a small shift in Eda and Aydan’s relationship but Aydan still can’t abide by the idea of Eda being with Serkan. I know they have to play this out but I will be really upset if Aydan doesn’t accept Eda until she finds out that Eda is rich.
What needs to happen next/ what I hope happens next
From the trailer, it looks like Selin and Ferit have moved up their wedding date and Serkan is back to insisting that he and Eda need to break them up. This is getting old, Ferit isn’t a bad guy and seems to be doing good work at the holding company and Alptekin likes him. Serkan needs to back off from this because it is reinforcing to Eda that he is still in love with Selin and wants her back.
Serkan needs to tell Eda that he doesn’t love Selin, I think she may be mad about this at first but it may lead her to finally tell him her feelings
Selin needs to fully commit to Ferit and stop skulking around Serkan
Engin needs to figure what the heck he is doing with either Pyril or Ceren
This week's episode was focused on how bad or unclear communication can shatter your heart and lead you away from your dreams. Serkan won’t bring himself to admit that he loves Eda and wants to be with her so he uses the excuse of work to keep her next to him and tries to convey the depth of his feelings for her by offering her all her dreams. Eda is more emotionally intelligent and is used to verbalizing her feelings, both good and bad and needs Serkan to say the words to her, the big gestures are going over her head. Their different styles of communication are each confounding to the other and have led to neither of them thinking that the other cares for them.
True communication is communion- the realization of oneness, which is love. -Eckhart Tolle
